I am sure most of us have had major life upsets or even tragedies which leave us to think that we will never make it through a day or any day after that. One of my closest girl friends and I, both fans of Colin Firth, decided to take it in A Single Man at last.
It was not until we were 10 minutes into the movie that I froze, realizing that my friend, had tragically lost her husband just over 7 months ago. Why in gawd’s name did I bring her to see A Single Man, a movie about George (Colin Firth), who not so long ago lost his partner, Jim in a car accident. Not only was he (or my friend) having problems dealing with the idea of life without Jim (her husband), but there is a sense in which he (she) is wondering at his (her) grief as much as he (she) is experiencing it. That is when I looked over at my dearest friend, and realized that she had been doing the same thing for the past 8 months.
George, as was she, is as sentimental as you could want to find, and being torn up by the loss of his partner is in character for them both.
But something slightly off is going on and when I realized what it was, I wondered how often those who experience the losses consider the same.
As we watched the flashbacks in the movie of George’s life, I was recalling the many oddly special moments in my friend’s relationship over the years…leisurely walks, simple meals, friends, families and special occasions when it all seemed so real or sureal.
My friend was able to be with her man to the very last moment. George,a gay man in the 50/60′s was denied the right of saying goodbye or even attending the funeral of his partner of 16 years. A 2 minute call from Jim’s cousin shared few details and offered no comfort whatsoever.
As I watched George’s reaction to Jim’s death, I could only imagine my friend’s reaction when her husband slipped away. We follow George as I have followed my friend through their curious present.
This low-key film is about the low-key wandering of a man and to some degree about the low-key wandering of anyone who has experienced the loss of a partner.
Thoughts of suicide are not uncommon after major losses. George never once really acts, speaks or thinks as though he is trying to figure anything out? But can you really figure it out? Most can only manage to feel curshed by loss. He is not…. or at least not in a way that is conscious. The thoughts he has are only about how to make it through each day now that Jim is gone…..not unlike the thoughts of anyone who has lived and shared life together. “Who am I?” George knows who he is as does my friend. Their life partners were not a total summation of who they were, so why does it feel as if everything is gone now?
As with those who have lost someone…….such an important part of their life for such a long time, we are left only to travel along with George, and put his thoughts with our own, without everything being handed to us by dialog and voiceover. Neither George or friend are wandering down such an easy road. Everyone wonders how they can make it through the day now that thier loved one is gone. Both Lynn and George talk like that too, understandably.
The thing is, those who really love us know something almost none of us get around to knowing….who we are, and once we know who we are…..that’s really all there is to know.
How did you feel about the movie? What cords did it strike for you? Coin Firth provided an academy award performance and was worthy of nomination. The movie is a definite must.
